Friday, July 24, 2009 Y 8:27 AM


On a train to Neverland
We are riding hand in hand
We are chasing unicorns and elves
Chinese dragons guide our way
To the dawning of the day
We will give a promise to ourselves

Only for tonight
Only for the stars in your eyes

We are crazy, but who cares
To our heaven there are stairs
If we want it to be like that
And reality is just an illusion
that we must soon return to, yes,
but not yet

Only for tonight
Only for the stars in your eyes

Hey, Give me what I need
Hey, you are what I want

Only for tonight
For your eyes only

Only for tonight
Only for the stars in your eyes (L)

-

Recently I realised whenever people talk t me, the topic always seem t lead back t the whole "So, when is Joanne leaving?" & every time that happens, I really want t walk away leaving that question unanswered.

I know they aren't really paying any attention t my answer. Because I find people asking me the same question once, twice, and thrice, & I'm sorry t say that I have limited patience.

And after that question, comes the "So will you be sad?" & as I ponder over the question, contemplating whether or not I should give them a one word answer or a whole 15 marks essay, maybe they feel like their wasting their time & so they answer t their own question w a sympathetic "Oh ... I'm sure you'll be very sad right?" Once again, before I can answer, they say "I think she will be very sad too right? Will you miss her?"

At at this point of time, I silently declare in my mind that this conversation is really going nowhere.

And if the answer isnt any obvious enough,
YES, I will be sad. YES, I will miss her.
But that's an understatement. It's a more intense feeling than that.

I know those who ask about her are probably just showing their concern, but I'm fine. Or I will be fine in time.

The conversation, which eventually progresses t a "So it's a long-distance r/s?" followed by a "You sure you can do it?" and then once again, their own reply t their question, "I don't think so."

I guess people think I can't do it. But you don't know. You don't know me. Even if you used to know me very well, people change. & I am unpredictable. You can think and say what you want, but at the end of the day, this is my life, not yours.

I just need some space & time alone. And no, I don't need people t remind me that I am not doing fine when she's no longer here, or whether I am sad, or that I miss her.

This love is special & different in so many ways I can't explain. So many ways you will never understand.